I feel better today, by His grace. I still miss my wife terribly, and Sundays seem somewhat empty without her. I Played with our kids a lot today… probably more than I should have. There were more chores than I completed. It is Sunday, though. God has asked me to rest.
Today, our lead pastor spoke on the authority of God and on obedience (I will add a link to this message as soon as it is posted). We spent time in Matthew, Chapter 7. Verses 21 through 23 talk about those who claim to know god but practice disobedience or lawlessness… Verses 24 and 25 go on to show how obedience gives us a firm foundation. We looked at John 14:15 and 14:23, discussing how we show our love for God through obedience and he responds by moving in and residing in us. Finally, we looked at Ezekiel, at the verses I’ve been sitting in for two weeks at least, chapter 36:26-27. Thanks Charlyne for pointing those out again and again.
Since I made the decision to stand, I have felt that I am on a more firm foundation. Last night I dealt with anger and unforgiveness, and I felt my foundation slipping. I couldn’t sleep until I let it go. I knew I had to, and I’m glad I did, because… “obedience“.
Finally, I was thinking about obedience, free will, the words of my friends and a message I recently heard by Charlyne Steinkamp as I sat down to do devotions and this message came across my twitter feed with this verse:
“I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.” Isaiah 48:17
This is where I’ve been sitting today.
I’m not going to lie. This sucks. I wish obedience meant that God would save me from all pain, but it doesn’t. I am still in a lot of pain. Yet will I seek you, Lord… yet will I praise you, Lord… yet will I trust you, Lord… yet will I love you, Lord… yet will I serve you, Lord… yet will I honor you and obey you, Lord.
In Jesus name, God help me.