Month: July 2018

How do I not have hate and fear?

Last night I went to bed with $28 to my name. This morning my bank charged me a fee and I have -$10. I don’t get paid until next Friday.

I make enough money to live comfortably within the expenses that I have.

I don’t gamble, drink, or smoke.

I have an ex wife who uses every little nuance of the law to cause me pain. Though we have joint custody and I have the kids more waking hours than she does, that one overnight a week allows her to take nearly $900.00 from me every month. After 2 trials to maintain the custody I have, I owe over $20,000.00 in legal and other debts.

This morning, I am trying not to panic. I am trying to drive out fear. I am trying to trust in Him though I’ve been crying for help for months seeing this day coming. I’ve cut costs. I’ve tried to save. I just can’t keep up, and things keep coming out of nowhere to bite me in the butt.

My car is out of gas… what is happening to me? How is this my life??

How do I pray? What do I pray? There is no repentance in her. She is so mean and vindictive and hateful and evil. All she wants is my destruction.

Please pray for me. Everything is so dark right now. So dark.