proclaim

There your heart will be also (Moving)

As I load the van a second time today,

I realize that moving, for one like me,

Is just transporting the debris of my broken life

from one place to another and then hiding

it from myself.

 

This load goes to the landfill.SOLID WASTE AUTHORITY-2

My daughter’s crib can go.

Why did I keep that?

A box of carefully packed framed photos

of the wedding.

 

I will see the goodness of the Lord

in the land of the living…

Some kids toys that didn’t fit in this house

ended up becoming squirrel habitat

in the shed.

 

Oh, God, why didn’t you kill me

three years ago when I was blissfully ignorant??

I know I shouldn’t treasure anything

in this life, but my family

was a treasure.

 

I don’t want to do this anymore.

I don’t want to be alone.

I’m sick of helping people.

I’m sick of my fake surreal life.

I want out.

 

Where is my breakthrough?

I’m trying to come to terms

with your bringing everything to term.

I don’t know what’s going on in this womb of despair.

I just want out.

 

God, I hate my life. I hate it.

I know you’re in this, somewhere.

I know you have a plan,

or I wouldn’t still be here.

Any hints?

 

I take another walk down the roadIMG_4689

that crosses behind my house.

I look out across the fields through tears

at farms of people I don’t know.

I cry and snot…

 

I’m shouting at You in the middle of the road,

out across the fields.

If anyone is around I’m sure they think I’m crazy.

Maybe I am.

Maybe…

 

Three tissues weren’t enough for this walk.

I’d better return to the house.

It’s not home. I’m homeless now.

Any house without a helpmate

is not home.

 

Daddy, I know you’re a jealous cuss.

I know you don’t want me to want this

near as strongly as I do.

But you can’t hold me at night or fall asleep

drooling on my chest.

 

I’m tired. I hate this. I hate me.

Everything is so gray and tasteless.

I can’t even sleep anymore.

Won’t you at least let me sleep??

Help me!

 

God, I hate moving…

 

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Power Ups for you

Fellow standers, how are you doing? If you’re anything like me, you vacillate in any given week between living victoriously and trudging through the slough of despond.  I posted recently that we have been chosen for a special mission of great significance that will save the lives of many others. We are in an epic battle. Occasionally, we need some power ups… Our faith is being tried, stretched, and tested every day. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God… I recently made these scripture cards to keep around as a faith boost. Feel free to print them and place them on your mirror, your refrigerator, your dashboard, and wherever you need encouragement. I will probably make more, but for now, this is all I’ve got.

Printable Verse cards

Printing Instructions

For best results, print these to card stock, though decent quality paper will work just fine. Use the following settings when printing to get two cards per sheet: Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 5.01.59 PM I’ve been wanting to print out some verses to put around my house, on mirrors and such, to proclaim and gain encouragement from. I am too picky to just copy and paste the verses into a word processor and slice them down, but too busy to fire up InDesign or Illustrator and give them the proper treatment. I made these using Canva, which is a free graphic design app for web and iOS. Enjoy.

Another prayer for those who stand…

Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus we come before you this evening, not as distant supplicants, begging to be heard, but as sons and daughters, joint heirs with Christ. We come now boldly and freely into your presence, freely asking these things according to your will, sure that you’re listening, confident that what we’ve asked for is as good as ours. So, we pray for our prodigal spouses this evening, wherever they are in the far country, and ask that you give them life.

Your word says that if we seek You earnestly and plead with You, if we are pure and upright, even now You will rouse Yourself on our behalf and restore you to your prosperous state. It also says that no one who hopes in You will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause. May those who seek our lives be disgraced and put to shame; may those who plot our ruin be turned back in dismay. Do not turn us over to the desires of our foes, for false witnesses rise up against us, our own one-flesh partners used as tools of the enemy, spouting malicious accusations. I remain confident of this:

We will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!!!

Father, in the name of Jesus, we take hold of these promises with thanksgiving, calling You to restore us to our prosperous state in the land of the living. Jesus Christ became a curse on the cross so that we might receive the blessing! I therefore call us blessed, and not cursed. I call our marriages blessed. I call our families blessed. I call our homes blessed. We are sons and daughters, joint heirs with Christ! In Your eyes, we are more than conquerors. We are an elite force of prayer warriors. We are mighty in Your power. You have called all of us to this place in this time to be your heralds; to proclaim your words to our sphere of influence; to stand, saying, “YOUR WILL BE DONE!” We rise up to proclaim it. We rise up to tear down the Jericho walls and move the mountains.

The bolts of our gates will be iron and bronze, and our strength will equal our days. There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides across the heavens to help us and on the clouds in his majesty. The eternal God is our refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out our enemies before us, saying, ‘Destroy them!’ The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against our families will be defeated before us. They will come at us from one direction but flee from us in seven.

So as our spouses prepare for bed this evening, we know that You do speak—now one way, now another—though no one perceives it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on people as they slumber in their beds, You may speak in their ears and terrify them with warnings, to turn them from wrongdoing and keep them from pride, to preserve them from the pit, their lives from perishing by the sword.

God, You will block their paths with thorn bushes; wall them in so that they cannot find their way. Take them out of their sin inertia! Wall them in so that it is easier to do your will than to continue on in their sin. Turn their hearts toward home and smooth their path in that direction.

I know that your word that goes out from your mouth: It will not return to you empty, but will accomplish what YOU desire and achieve the purpose for which You sent it.

I ask all of these things in Jesus name, Amen.

 

I’ve lost track of half of these scripture references, because it just spews out anymore… suffice to say that most of this prayer comes from Job, Psalms, Hosea, Deuteronomy, Isaiah, and 1 John.

Tired… but God

I took a nap this afternoon… slept right through dinner. Yeah, I am tired… okay, exhausted might be a better word. The enemy is working over-time, but I am more than a conqueror. My heavenly father is showing me sign after sign, and putting me in the right place at the right time. My online fellowship of standers has had two restorations in the last few weeks as we have been fasting and seeking the Lord in prayer.

Last night I went to a real prayer meeting at the local AOG. I had literally no idea churches were still holding prayer meetings. I thought we, as a 21st century church, obsessed with satellite campuses, professional video feeds, and the like had given up on divine power that demolishes strongholds. During one prayer time, I got together with four fellow believers who prayed unequivocally for the restoration of my marriage and shared their own real concerns. There were no superficial requests about a sister’s neighbor’s missing cat. It was real raw hurt brought before the God of the universe in humility and confidence in His mighty power. This is such a simple concept. Pray. Pray believing that something will happen. Keep praying. Pray without ceasing. Fast and pray. Pray through.

I’ve been reading Psalm 91 as a proclamation for a few weeks now. The pastor read it and prayed through it last night. Rhema? Yeah, I think so… He also used “But God” as a standalone phrase twice during his message, just like Charlyne. I would have burst into tears if I wasn’t already crying my eyes out. It’s amazing how much power there is in that simple phrase… “but God”…

I don’t have much else to say. I leave you with tonight’s proclamation. Yeah, it’s Psalm 91…

Psalm 91
1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

Stand strong brothers and sisters. Stand strong and pray through! I think another one of our fellow standers is just on the edge of restoration. May your suddenly come swiftly!