judgementalism

Vent

Let me tell you about my week.

My ex-wife / the prodigal spouse / whatever you want to call her has really upped her game.

In addition to regular text message harassment, and I mean harassment, she has made several legal, but highly unusual maneuvers to make sure I don’t see my children for most of the Month of December. She has also managed to schedule the time I do have my children full of events running back and forth to where she lives, 90 minutes away.

Finally, My Ex-wife changed our children’s dentists (without consulting me) and gave the dentist her address as the children’s primary address. The dentist sudsc_0363-2bmitted to my insurance with her address. Now my insurance will not pay the claims unless I provide legal documentation of my custody rights. this means that I now need to pay my attorney (likely a couple hundred bucks) to process and submit the correct forms. The dentist is now regularly contacting me about these unpaid claims. I love how I keep paying for her evil and betrayal over and over again in a million little mundane ways.

Just to recap:

  • She left me for another man.
  • She forced a divorce on me that I did not want.
  • She has tried numerous times to remove me from our children’s lives.
  • She consistently undermines me, manipulates me, and harasses me.
  • She is re-married.

There have been some well-meaning brothers and sisters who have recently posted here in the comments:

  • That I am sinning by dating someone new.
  • That I have prayed for my estranged wife out of a place of selfishness.
  • That I am selfish for loving a new woman:
    • That has been abandoned.
    • That deserves to be loved.
    • That treats me like a human instead of like trash.
    • Whose son desperately needs a father.

Bear in mind that I

  • Refused the divorce for as long as I legally could.
  • Tried to reconcile.
  • “Stood” for more than 2 years, wearing my ring the whole time.
  • Prayed desperately for my prodigal spouse’s
    • Deliverance
    • Salvation
    • Rescue
    • Freedom from deception

I consistently asked God to show me what He would have me do, and He consistently gave me signs, little miracles, and regular provision.

Finally, he made the ultimate provision for me, in the form of a woman that I love deeply and who loves me for all the reasons that my ex-wife hates me. In my uncertainty, He has consistently confirmed that I am in the right place, in His will.

So, standers and non-standers, I feel I need to encourage you with the following:

  1. Standing for your marriage is good.
  2. God can and does often bless it.
  3. You may or may not be “called” to do so.
  4. Sometimes the other person’s heart is too hard or they were never saved to begin with.
  5. Moving on and loving someone else will not doom you to hell for eternity.

I’m sure I will get a lot of differing thoughts in comments. That’s fine. I welcome your feedback, and I’ll likely approve your comments. Just know that if you have time to reprimand me, you also have time to pray for me, and that is always welcome.