Vows, covenants, and sickness

I put our wedding pictures back up on the dresser today.

Some rights reserved by Hamed Saber

Some rights reserved by Hamed Saber

Interesting that you take them down when you stop by…

You feel that I’m unable to face reality… move on…

Your parents even encouraged me to do so.

It’s sad really; that God’s word means so little to so many.

 

I made some vows and I entered a covenant.

There was something in there about sickness and turns for the worse.

I meant those things, though I never pictured it quite like this.

I used to run scenarios in my mind… maybe I’m a bit strange.

I knew I wouldn’t leave if you lost your hair, face, limbs, or your ability for physical intimacy.

 

I was ready for tragic accidents…

I was ready for cancer of the body.

I never imagined cancer of the heart… the soul… the mind.

I never imagined the enemy would capture you.

Yet, it’s no different. I still stand by you.

 

I know you probably feel like I’m trying to trap you…

to keep you from “getting on with your life”.

You likely would think I’m mad if I told you.

He talks to me. The God of the universe speaks.

I’m standing, as long as He tells me to stand.

 

I know you don’t want to hear about “God and covenants”.

I know you could care less about my “feelings”.

Look, this has nothing to do with “feelings”.

I don’t feel like fighting this. It is exhausting.

I don’t feel like being lonely much of the time.

 

If you had gotten a terrible degenerative disease,

would you not expect me to stand by you and love you through it?

Here I stand.

If someone had kidnapped you, would you not expect me look for you?

Here I stand.

 

I know you don’t believe your heart will change.

You may not even think anything is wrong.

I believe in the God who stops the sun, raises the dead, and created you.

If He says He’s got this,

who am I to argue? You take it up with Him.

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One comment

  1. Oh how I remember my own heartbreaking pain as I read this. We don’t understand the why’s and it seems trite to say that even in this God has a purpose, but thru my own experiences and the years that have followed I do know that’s true. As hard as it was for me to admit, I know my 1st husband and I were unequally yoked before we married. His beliefs and faith didn’t reach into his core like mine did. And I went ahead and married him anyway cause I was so in love. I’m not saying this is your situation. I’m just trying to offer you some comfort that with God involved in any way, He also has the solution. Take care of yourself while you’re waiting on what that solution is. May God comfort and bless your every moment.

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