Remember your word to your servant,for you have given me hope (Ps 119:49).

I’m tired.

I’m frankly exhausted… There’s a lot I’m supposed to be getting taken care of for the divorce that I am not. Recently, my prodigal asked, “What do you do all day when the kids are with me?”. I wasn’t quite sure, actually. Honestly, I get a lot of little chores done. I eat on occasion. I do get things done that need to be taken care of. The rest of the hours and minutes that are in my day are spent in prayer. I’ve found that I’ve become a bit more deficient in the sustained attention department since this whole thing began…  I only have the stamina to actually focus on any kind of work for about 10 minutes. Then I find myself running to the back yard to pray or the deck to read my Bible. This must be that elusive thirst for God I’ve read about for the 20 or so years but never experienced…

My prayer, basically falls into three areas throughout the day:

  1. Reminding God: Remember your word to your servant,for you have given me hope (Ps 119:49). This is the majority of my prayer time throughout the day. I feel that I have a promise to claim that God can and will restore my marriage. I remind Him to get on that constantly. Here’s my premise for this habit. Give it a listen, you will not be sorry.
  2. Drawing near to God: Hear me as I pray, O Lord.Be merciful and answer me! My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming” (Ps 27:7-8). I need more of Him in my life. I suck at this, and I need His spirit in abundance. He’s inviting me to spend more time with Him.
  3. IntercedingThis is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life (1 John 5:14-16). In addition to mine, there are a lot of prodigal spouses on my heart.

Ultimately, I feel a bit unbalanced. Still, I have not heard, “stop seeking Me” yet. Off to pray for some fellow standers and their prodigals… It’s 10:00.


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